No Country For Tall Men

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No Country For Tall Men

We always had a great laugh at the silly guidance coming out of the EU. Remember the edict on the straightness of bananas or the size of condoms with the Italians being ridiculed for wanting smaller ones.

Much of it this was highlighted by The Daily Telegraph’s Brussels’ correspondent – a Mr B Johnson, who had been banished to Belgium after making up stories. Brussels was Europe’s naughty step.

Well thank goodness for Brexit and now we can have bananas in any shape we want and bigger johnnies.

As Mrs Truss told the cheering faithful at the Conservative Party Conference: ‘By the end of next years, all EU-inspired red tape will be history.’

Really? Who needs Europe when we have the Department for Levelling Up, Housing and Communities (DLUHC) Ministry?  How about this latest bit of guidance: it would like to see bars placed on first floor windows.

Why? Isn’t it obvious? People are getting taller and there is a risk they might fall out.

At last, I now understand ‘levelling up’. But how about diversity? Men are mostly likely to benefit from this, as they are generally taller to the detriment of women.

Mrs Truss was keen to talk about Stalinist top-down regulations being scrapped. At Conference, she continued: ‘Instead we will ensure regulation is pro-business and pro-growth.’ So, does she mean that she wants people to be even taller?

The DLUHC is unrepentant: ‘People through time have become taller and their centre of gravity is higher’ and that safety couldn’t be compromised.

Perhaps they are right, recently a critic of Mr Putin fell out of fifth floor window in a hospital in Moscow. Now if there only had been bars…

In the 1990s, the latest decade for which data are available, 50 people died from falling out of windows and 2,000 were injured. But the biggest risk is to children so should there be a lower bar for them as part of the Levelling Up agenda. (Sorry).

The home building industry is appalled at the new guidance as it will be another hurdle to jump even if it can get nutrient neutrality.

I can imagine the faces of the marketing department when the construction director announces the new bar code (sorry again, couldn’t resist that).

What has the DLUHC planned for us next: lifebelts in baths to stop people drowning or oxygen tanks on landings in case people get puffed climbing the stairs?

Have a good weekend.

Tom