How to grow a money tree – a lesson in bureaucratics
“Thy shall planteth thy olde shillings tree on ye olde blue Mondaye in January” – William Shakespeare, Richard IV, Part II
It’s the most depressing week of the year apparently and Monday was the most depressing day… or so they say… I can’t say I really noticed anything, I thought it was actually quite a chirpy (if somewhat cold) sort of day and week. (Well, ok, poor old Richy Rich is having a hard time herding his Tory cats… but then what’s new?)
But, if you are feeling down and blue, let me tell you an amusing little story. Now, you all know that being British, we are generally the best at things and we have always liked setting records. So, this week I saw a wonderful story about the longest UK planning application EVER! (Yeah baby!)
The planning application for the Lower Thames Crossing between Essex and Kent is proposing a 14.3mi road and a 2.6mi tunnel under the Thames.
The application has reached 359,000 pages… or to put that in context, 513 lever arch files worth of paper or the equivalent of three and a half complete trees worth of paper… or if you put the pages out in a line it reaches over 70miles! (I told you it’s a big one!)
The application is tipping the money scale at a WHOPPING £300million with 2,383 reports and if built, will cost £10billion to build. The project lead, Matt Palmer said “Back in 2008 we put in a Planning Act that ran fine until about 2016 (remember that date… didn’t the Brexitters promise a bonfire of bureaucracy free from the evils of the EU?). Ever since then, it’s become more and more problematic with these delays, which means that bringing projects into being in the UK is probably the most challenging at the moment as it has ever been.” Well, amen to that brother!
The whole process started in 2009 (under the previous Labour Government) and will now be submitted to the Secretary of State for Transport, Mark Harper, for determination before 20 March (it is called a Development Consent Order and it is the way nationally significant projects are given permission).
Now first, I want to send some “good vibes and lots of strongs” to our esteemed SoS Mark Harper as I am sure he will be reading through all 359,000 pages to take every element into consideration before making a decision on something we all know is desperately needed…
Personally speaking, if I were the SoS for Transport, I would give it a week or so (to give the impression I read some of it), get my rubber stamp out and approve the planning application of a piece of nationally important infrastructure.
As for the £300m it all cost... I don’t begrudge anyone who had a ride on this gravy train, I am just sorry I didn’t have a ticket for it myself!
Anyway, go out and plant your money trees, the weather is turning next week and it is ideal for planting!
Henry (call me on 07736 121 014 if you know where to get the gravy train)
Ps. It's me in the picture... look carefully ;-)